In fact, several experiments indicate both extroverts and introverts are happier when they are asked to behave in an extroverted manner. What's fascinating about TextTalk is that people mostly DO understand what others mean, despite the lack of visual and auditory cues.
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Yet every participant in our experiment who actually tried to talk to a stranger found the person sitting next to them was happy to chat. We found that commuters tend cjat be happier when they talk to a stranger, regardless of how extroverted they perceived themselves to be. Humans are inherently social animals, who are made happier and healthier when connected to others.
For example, having a conversation with a stranger on your way to work may leave you both feeling happier than you would think. A quick explanation accompanied by a simple smiley : or winky ; efficiently resolves the confusion.
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This can keep us mistakenly isolated and disconnected from others. To help you out a little bit, I've edited the other log excerpts that appear in this article.
While online, the lag created by people typing and by thousands of miles of busy internet wires forces the conversation into a slower pace. Strangers sit next to each other on park benches staring at their phones, walk down city streets without smiling or saying "hello" to anyone.
But simply reaching out to a fellow human being to say hello may be better received than people realise. The inner lives of strangers Separate experiments on buses and in taxis yielded similar ; individuals found connecting with strangers was surprisingly pleasant.
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Having positive social relationships has been put forward as a adn ingredient for happinessmore ificant even than how much we earn. In fact, our research suggests we may often underestimate the positive impact of connecting with others for both our own and others' wellbeing.
The positive impact even seems to spread to the person you talk to. In another experiment conducted in a waiting room, we found that not only did the people we encouraged to talk have a more pleasant experience, but so did the person they were asked to talk to.
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In fact, research suggests that we consistently underestimate how much a new person likes us following an initial conversation. He will offer early impressions of the on Friday as part of Crossing Divides On the Move, a day when the BBC - working with transport companies - is encouraging adults to chat to fellow passengers. BillyBob: MrBig doesn't hang out in disguise If five different conversations are scrolling before your eyes, it would seem easy to lose track of what was said.
After searching through my many megabytes of saved logs, I found no juicy examples of people being confused or misunderstanding what other anx were saying. Sure, there were moments when someone wasn't exactly sure what someone else meant. Feeling isolated and lonely, in contrast, is a stress factor that poses a health risk comparable to smoking and obesity.
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My editing is doing the job of those filters that operate automatically almost unconsciously while online. Yet many of us remain in self-imposed isolation, believing that reaching out to a stranger would make you both feel uncomfortable.
However, they can change unpleasant moments - like the grind of a daily commute - into something more pleasant. You would think that the lack of ftf cues and the buzzing confusion of TextTalk would result in many misunderstandings.
Mostly, I've eliminated strings of conversation that aren't relevant to the point that I'm discussing in each of the sections that follow. Essentially, your personality may shape your expectations more than your experiences do. Thinking others aren't interested in talking, or won't like ans, are the very things that will keep you from making contact. These brief connections with strangers are not likely to turn a life of misery into one of bliss.
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And if you can't hear people's voices, or see their faces, you easily might misinterpret what they mean, wouldn't you? The excerpt also illustrates how people play with the ambiguity of identity in chat environments. The illusive use of the smileys add to ahd ambiguity.
And so you sit back, read, wait, scan backwards and forwards in the dialogue something you can't do in ftf conversationand think about what to chwt next. Most thought that talking would lead to the least pleasant commute. Are they at times being truthful? If you think that talking to a stranger is likely to be unpleasant, you'll never try and so never discover that your expectations might be wrong.
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Without face-to-face visual cues, it's difficult to tell. In part, this is due to the fact that during a post-hoc reading chatt a log, you read at the pace you usually read any written material - which is QUICKLY, but much too quickly to absorb TextTalk. Of course, nobody appreciates unwanted attention. The excerpt that follows is an interesting example of how the lack of ftf cues can make it difficult to tell whether someone is intending humor or irony, and when they are being honest or sly.
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The use of the winky ; and smiley : are sometimes used to indicate irony or sarcasm, but in this excerpt the situation is perfectly ambiguous. Initiatives include: Virgin Trains deating all coach Cs on its west coast services as the "chat coach" Arriva distributing "conversation taok cards via its national bus network, and encouraging passengers to "share a smile" Encouraging people from different backgrounds to mix on Translink Northern Ireland's Glider service connecting East and West Belfast Self-fulfilling anv You might imagine that only outgoing people would benefit more from connecting with others.
For example, without tone of voice, how do you know someone is being sarcastic? What'dya Mean?
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Asterisks indicate a private communication whispering to and from BillyBob: Nuclear: matt: are you MrBig in disguise? Of course, some chat users may like to play games with the potential ambiguity of TextTalk. These beliefs may be unwarranted. This may help to explain why cities seem so crowded with highly social people who are actively trying to ignore each other.
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We asked bus and train commuters in Chicago how they would feel about striking up a conversation on their morning commute, compared to sitting in solitude or doing whatever they normally do. Situations involving humor and sarcasm usually were the culprits, because that smile, chuckle, or wry tone of voice were missing. Few start a conversation with a stranger, but most seem happy to talk if you reach out with good intentions.
Although personality may not takk a big effect on your experience of connecting with others, it may affect your expectations, with introverts underestimating the positive consequences of interaction.